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         “Richie! It’s William! I tried to call Christenson but the cell phone, I think maybe you gave me the wrong number. I’ve been out all day, just got your messages. A friend of mine, you know, car accident. I was in the ER with him for hours—“

         “William?” Richie frowns at the waterfall of words.

         “It’s not even five and Christenson’s office is closed.”

         Ah, the William wail of woe. Richie checks his watch. “It’s five.”

         “It’s 4:59 and I called his cell and then his office—“

         “Are you drunk?”

         “No! I told you, a friend—“ Richie winces at the hurt and outrage. Never ask William if he’s drunk and expect anything but bullshit.

         “Right,” Richie says.

         “I might be dehydrated, that’s all. We had to wait forever for a cop and, and an ambulance and all that. You know. Out in the sun.”

         Richie just can’t take another William story. “You are drunk. Okay, hold on while I look it up—“

         As if William could stop talking. “You know, that Bonnie and Clyde thing? That’s insane. Bonnie and Clyde as a musical? What was I thinking? Like they’re really gonna get that made? You were right. There is nothing wrong with Celebrity Poker Survivor. You were right, I was wrong, I gotta make that call. This is a great chance for me to show how professional I am.”

         “Don’t pitch me, William. I’m your agent. Listen, the cell phones are screwed right now. I saw it on the news.”

         Anguished wail again.Richie! What am I going to do?” If the kid gave acting gigs half the drama he gives Richie, Richie figures William would win an Oscar.

         “I don’t know, kid, but I’ve got other clients. Wait, hold on.”

         Richie’s assistant, a lovely girl with no talent but good organizational skills, whispers to him that he has a call. From the phone, tinny, he can hear more Anguished wailing.

         Getting off the phone with William is a little like taking off a Band-Aid. Do it fast and take the pain. “Sorry kid, gotta go, Nicole’s on the other line about a project with Vince.”

         Last anguished wail before he can get the phone hung up. “Richie!”

 

 

 

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